Spandery goodness. It's, eh, schmoop. But, it's not my fault! It's for [info]kitty_poker1's birthday, dammit.

Heh, and yes, I did make her beta her own birthday fic, although, I didn't tell her it was hers...though, she probably figured it out. I was trying to be sneaky. I failed. I suck.

Also, thanks to [info]snowpuppies for the quick beta before I sent it off to Kitty.

Happy Birthday, Kitty!

Honesty Is Always The Best Policy


It was always Xander's luck to have shit happen to him.

He and Spike had been arguing as they'd walked into the Magic Box after patrol when suddenly a white light had engulfed them and everything else around them.

Willow had been doing spells again, without Giles' knowledge or supervision.

Xander was beginning to see what Giles meant when he said he was afraid Willow would start doing magic for her own purposes instead of doing it to try to help people. She was getting out of hand, it seemed. He and Spike could verily vouch for that.

Willow tucked a russet strand of hair behind her ear unable to look either one of them in the face. She looked nervous.

"Well, see, we're all so busy and stuff and keeping things from each other -- take the whole Anya thing, for instance. Xand, you shoulda told us she'd left instead of saying she was off on an extended vacation. We could've helped you cope, you know? You didn't have to lie about it."

Xander winced at the reminder of Anya's exodus from Sunnydale several weeks ago. Sure, it hadn't been true love or anything but it had still hurt to find out from her landlord that she was gone and not coming back instead of her telling him herself.

Apparently, she hadn't thought him important enough to tell face to face that she was leaving for greener pastures.

Willow continued, "So, see? Helpful, right? Truth is always better than lies. Hiding things isn't good. So...I put a little piece of something from everyone into the spell so we're all gonna be telling the truth for a while. I think."

"For chrissakes, Willow! You don't even know? Don't you ever think? There are reasons we don't tell each other everything! It's not like I tell you I like to jerk off to man on man porn, is it?" Xander's eyes widened and he clapped a hand over his mouth, as if he couldn't believe what he'd just revealed inadvertently. "Oh, crap, Willow, what did you do?"

Spike quirked an eyebrow and sat down, settling in for some high quality entertainment. "Say, Red, you didn't happen to include me in that little bit of mojo of yours, did you?"

Willow's mouth had fallen open at Xander's admission. "Xander? You're gay?"

"Not gay! Not, not, not gay!" Xander said frantically. "I just like to watch men fuck! And I so didn't need to say that, right? Too much information. It just gets me off like nothing else and oh my God, kill me now."

Spike grinned delightedly, lacing his fingers together across his stomach. "Well, well, well, the boy has hidden depths. Want I should teach you a few man to man things that you won't likely see on those pornos you watch? Bet I could make you cum till you couldn't remember your name. I've had over a century of experience. Oh, bugger."

Xander scooted his seat over and down at the side of the table, away from Spike. He pointed at Willow accusingly. "Explain! Explain now!"

"I-I don't know what happened! This wasn't supposed to happen! It was only supposed to be a little truth spell. You know, when we're talking we just tell each other the truth. It wasn't supposed to be blurt out all your secrets randomly! Oh, this sucks. I knew I was out of my depth and it was wrong to try it--oh, poop."

"It's working already, is it? Why the bloody hell's it working on me, anyway? You don't have anything of mine, do you? Not that I wouldn't slip you a bit of something if you--oh, fucking hell. Fix this, right now!"

Willow's jaw dropped and she squeaked. "Uh, I didn't put anything of yours in, Spike. The beam that hit Xan must've hit you too. It sent a wave that was visible for a few feet then went on to the others. They won't know about it till they start talking about secrety stuff." She cocked her head to the side, staring at a very uncomfortable Spike. "You, uh, want me, Spike?"

Xander stared at Spike. "You want Willow?"

Spike shifted uncomfortably; he’d long since lost his amusement at the situation because he was now a part of it! "I'd take her in a heartbeat. All that pale, soft skin. I've not forgotten about the factory, Red. You were scared and smelled so bloody good and the boy was unconscious, which was mainly why I didn't touch you. Wanted a ruddy threesome with both of you. Wanted to be the cream in a red and brunet sandwich. Fucking hell!" Spike leapt to his feet and pointed an accusing finger at the suddenly cowering witch. "You fix this and you do it right now! I can't tell the truth all the time! There are things you people don't need to know!"

Xander started laughing and Spike turned his attack on him. "And you, boy, you may be the prettiest human I've seen in a while and remind me of Angelus with your big dopey doe eyes and lush bottom lip that I could suck on for hours, but that don't mean you can laugh! You've spilled quite a bit about your personal life as well."

Xander abruptly shut up, eyes widening, then narrowing. "What do you really think of me, Spike?"

Spike's mouth dropped open in horror. He started backing toward the entrance of the shop, ready to make a hasty escape and hole up in his crypt until this blew over. "Oh, no, not gonna happen. I'm not gonna tell you I'd like to lick you from top to bottom, fuck you till we're both unconscious, ride your bigger-than-average cock till you explode deep inside me and then cuddle for hours afterward." Spike sucked in a sharp, uneven breath. "Shit."

How the hell did Spike know how big his dick was?

"Shit," Xander echoed, cock responding to the imagery Spike had painted for him. "Willow," he whimpered, "Please undo what you've done. I'm begging you."

Willow frantically searched through the tome she'd used to make her spell. "I think I need to call Giles. I-I need help with this one, guys. I-I-I'll be right back. You two don't do anything without me because I'd want to watch and it'd probably be better than the lesbian porn I've found on the computer and oh my God, I'm leaving to call Giles now."

"Lesbian porn? Willow?"

Spike suddenly smirked, posture relaxing. He tucked his thumbs into the waistband of his tight jeans and fairly swaggered over to the table where Xander was staring obstinately up at him. "So...fair's fair, mate. What do you think of little old me?"

Xander's eyes bugged out. He jerked to his feet and sprinted for the door but didn't make it because Spike grabbed him, surprisingly gently, and pushed him into a nearby bookshelf.


Xander swallowed, felt the hard lines of Spike's body against his own, and started to panic. But not before the spell and his mind ran away from his control, it seemed. "I think you're hot, you're sexy. I'd do you anywhere, anyhow, anytime. I've had wet dreams involving you and leather restraints. Jerked off to fantasies involving you and edible body paint. Dreamed of you fucking me and taking my virginity. God, this is embarrassing, I hope Willow fix--mmmrrrpphfff!"

Spike stopped the brunet's babbling with his own mouth. He stabbed into Xander's mouth with his tongue and moaned when the heat scorched him. He wrapped himself around the hot body against him and delved in for more again and again.

Not even the bell above the door announcing someone entering the store interrupted their frantic kissing. Spike just kissed Xander deeper and more passionately and rubbed himself against Xander's erection to stimulate his own.

"I don't know what happened, Giles. One minute, I was telling a teeny little white lie about how good I thought mom's new hair cut was and the next I was telling her she looked like an over-stuffed poodle! And then, Mom? She told me my roots were showing and that I needed more bleach if I was going to look like a real whore to match the way I was dressing! What's going on?"

"Willow has been playing around with magic again. She rang me a few moments ago, telling me to come help her look for a reversal for the spell she just did." Giles sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, glasses in one hand as he followed Buffy into the shop. "I've given her warning after warning about the possible repercussions of her actions but she just will not listen to me. And, my Lord, Spike and Xander are making out against my bookshelf. Do get away from the books while you do that. They're quite expensive and you'll devalue them with your bodily emissions."

Spike and Xander parted mouths at the interruption but stayed locked together from the chest down. Xander stared at Buffy and Giles, horrified at having been caught, but Spike just looked smug.

Buffy eyed both of them and then said, "That was hot. Do it again. It's hotter than when Riley jerks off to lesbian porn and lets me watch." She stopped and suddenly looked fearfully at Giles. "We've got to fix this, Giles."

"Such a ruddy stick in the mud, that farming git Riley is. Though, he's not bad on the eyes..." Spike leered at her, wiggling his eyebrows. "Could do with a bit of a threesome. You and me and Xander here...maybe have your boy watch as it seems that's his kink."

"Ewww, Spike, stop thinking about my boyfriend like that. I couldn't picture you two together that way in the same room. It's just ick! And even though I think you're really hot and have a better than average body, I couldn't do a threesome with you and Xan. He's my really good friend and I've never thought of him like that."

Xander grimaced as if he had a bad taste in his mouth. "Shit, Buff. And no, Spike. I'm more gay than straight and I don't think about Buffy like that now. Oh, God, can I just reiterate: someone kill me?" He banged his head against the bookcase behind him.

Spike chuckled and shoved a hand between Xander's head and the wooden bookcase behind him. He ran the hand through Xander's hair and suddenly there was electricity sparking between them and they were kissing once again as if unable to stop.

"Wow. I was right. That is hot." Buffy tilted her head getting a different perspective on their moving bodies, watching their tongues move in and out of each other's mouths. Then she blinked and cleared her throat, forcibly turning her back on the two. "Giles," she pleaded, "please?"

Giles cleared his throat as well, looking equally as discomforted as she did. He replaced his glasses on the perch of his nose. "Quite. I would rather go and research than become increasingly aroused with this little pornographic scene and perhaps do something I might regret and be embarrassed about for the rest of eternity. I would also like to blame everything I say on the spell and hope we can forget any of this ever happened."

"You and me both," she muttered, following Giles to the back of the shop. But not before getting another eyeful of Spike groping Xander's ass.


Xander turned his head and Spike took that as an invitation to attack his neck with wet, open-mouthed kisses, sucking on the hot, slightly damp skin he discovered there.

Xander moaned. "Spike, don't you think this is a little, mmmm...weird? Us just...going at it like this? I mean, don't we hate each other?"

Spike pulled back, eyes glassy. He licked his lips. "Don't know, don't care. Don't hate you at the moment, though. Want you at the moment."

When Spike leaned forward, Xander leaned back as much as the bookcase at his back would allow. "Uh, maybe there was more to the truth spell than Willow said? Maybe there was some lusting after your enemy in it too?"

"Could be," Spike murmured, leaning forward and licking a line from Xander's collar bone up to his ear. He nibbled on the lobe, suckling it.

Xander inhaled unevenly, clutching at Spike's leather-clad back. "God. God, Spike. Fuck."

"Could do that," Spike whispered into his ear, sticking his tongue inside and licking the canal.

Xander shuddered, shifting and allowing Spike to stand between both his legs. Their erections pressed together and he moaned. "Not here. Want privacy. Willow and Buffy'd just wanna watch. Don't even wanna think what G-man'd like to do."

"Not an exhibitionist, are you, pet?" He licked Xander's Adam's apple then sucked at the bobbing bump.

The brunet's eyes rolled into the back of his head, then closed. "Not really, no. Anya tried to get me to do stuff in very public places just didn't do it for me. The idea of getting caught made me nervous and, uh, certain parts didn't agree with her either. Pi-pissed her off real bad when she found systems were stalled and there'd be no going on with her plans. Maybe that's part of why she left."

Spike pulled back, unreadable expression on his face. He cupped Xander's face in his hands and kissed him gently, sweetly, heartbreakingly.

"She's a daft bint who didn't know what she had, luv. She won't know what she's missing. Doesn't deserve you."

Xander breathed deeply, eyes searching Spike's. "Maybe not," he agreed. "Do you?"

Spike swallowed, hating the truth spell more by the second, cursing himself for not being able to fight it because all he wanted to do was tell Xander that he was worth more than Anyanka ever would be and he'd like to be with him forever.

Ponce, ponce, ponce.

"No, I don't," he admitted, looking down.


"Hey, guys, you can quit making out now," Buffy announced, not looking at them as she walked out of the back office. She stopped by the register and absently stroked the counter, staring intently at it.

"Huh?" Xander's eyes tried to focus on Buffy, but failed when Spike's blue eyes rose from the floor to stare into and hold his own.

"Oh, Willow and Giles broke the spell about two minutes ago. We've tested it and everything. No need to worry about spilling dark secrets that no one else should know, or would never want to know. Just thought you two would like to know.'re not getting all groiny, are you? I don't want to be scarred for life."

Spike snorted, breaking eye contact with Xander to leer at Buffy. "We both know that isn't true, Slayer."

Buffy flushed and quickly escaped back into the office without another word.

Spike chuckled and returned his attention to Xander, who was suddenly concentrating raptly on Spike's face.


"She said they broke the spell a couple minutes ago..."

"So...?" Spike urged him on impatiently with a nod of his head.

Xander pushed Spike away from him and raked a hand through his hair. "We weren't under the spell when we said all that...stuff," he responded quietly.

Spike's eyes widened. He staggered a little. "Bloody hell."

The brunet laughed weakly. "Uh, yeah, I think I'll leave now while I've still got some of my pride."

Xander left the shop, and Spike, with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slumped dejectedly.

Stupid spell.

Stupid Willow for playing with things she didn't understand.

Stupid Xander for giving into Spike.

Stupid Spike for being so damned sexy and persuasive.



He slumped on his couch in front of the flickering TV with a beer in one hand, the other, curled on his thigh around the remote, just as tense as the rest of him. He wasn't brooding. He wasn't. He was just ... thinking hard about stuff.

But he so wasn't brooding.

He finished his beer and stared blearily into space. For once, the allure of the television wasn't there. He tossed the remote away.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," he muttered. "What the hell were you thinking? You don't want that stupid vampire. He's an asshole. He's rude. He's evil. He's...mean. He's..." He sighed. "So hot and sexy with his smooth, white skin and lean, yet muscled body that felt so damn good pressing hard against mine. Dammit."

His head fell against the back of his couch and he shut his eyes. He let the empty can fall to the floor unheeded, wiping a hand across his face tiredly.

Sometimes, ignorance really was bliss.

A sharp knock sounded on his door, interrupting his ruminations.

He stood up with a grunt, shuffled to the door, opened it and then hurriedly slammed it shut once he saw who it was on the other side.

"Moron, let me in. Not gonna go away till you and me have words. I can pound on this bloody door all night if I have to. Don't think your neighbors would like that."

Xander scowled on his side of the door, leaning heavily against it. He peered through the peep hole at the strangely serious vampire, then sighed.

He opened the door and walked back to the couch, letting Spike shut the door and follow after him.

"What do you want, Spike?"

"Told you. We need to talk."

"No, we don't. It was a spell. It was stupid. It was embarrassing and just like every other aspect of my life. I'd like to forget it, if you don't mind. Go away." He stared at the TV, trying to ignore the tenacious vampire. When black obscured his vision of the screen, he glared at the blond and tried to look around him. When Spike only moved with him, he scowled. "What? Can't you see I'm trying to watch this?"

Spike quirked an eyebrow and looked at what was playing on TV. "You're trying to watch Seinfeld?"

Xander grimaced and began searching for the remote. "Guess I stopped on the wrong channel. Where's that damned remote?"

Spike knelt and grabbed Xander's hands, pinning them to the cushions. "Look at me, Xander, not the bloody telly."

Xander sighed and reluctantly met Spike's gaze. He tried to ignore the pleasurable sparks he felt running through him as Spike's hands touched his bare arms; it was difficult to think about anything else when all he could remember was what those hands had felt like touching him in the Magic Box earlier.

"What, Spike?"

"The spell was a sort of truth spell. No lust, no hidden meanings, nothing else. Just made us reveal shite we really didn't want out in the open, is all. Was compulsory, like. Surface thoughts got spewed out. Wasn't much we could do to get it under control."

"How do you know? It could've been..."

"It wasn't. I asked Rupert. Once he'd quit stammering and not looking at me, that is, he told me what it was and ripped Red a new one for doing it. Don't think she'll be doing any more spells for a bit. She's on probation. Thank bloody God."

"Oh, well then, that's a relief, isn't it?" Xander glared at Spike, trying to pull his arms out of the vampire's grip. "Let me go, dammit. Leave me alone."

"We said some things, Xander..." Spike let go of him and settled back on his heels. "Things that were true despite that spell being over."

Xander sighed. "I don't--"

"Shut up," Spike growled, startling Xander. "I'm talking here. You know what I'm saying's the truth. Why the hell can't you accept it? Hell, I have and I'm not a whipped pouf like Angel is."

"Well, gee, I don't know, Spike. Why ever could I not accept that we were sucking face and humping each other's legs in front of my friends? Not to mention that we hate each other!"

"You know that isn't true!"

"Why the hell isn't it?! We fight all the time, you steal stuff from me, come over any time you want and use my things. You watch my TV, use my soap and shampoo up, make messes, eat all my food. You insult my friends and don't help us unless you're paid or there's something else in it for you. You're evil, Spike. Not to mention a really crappy house guest."

"Well, yeah. Vampire."

"You're not making a good case here, Spike."

"Oh, right. Yeah, I'm a vampire, so what? It's my job to make your life hell. I've not got anything else, do I? 'Sides, I come over all the time because I like you. There's no other reason. I can't hurt you. Don't really want to, not anymore. Although, I could if you really wanted..." Spike leered, giving Xander an appraising eye. "You a masochist, pet?"

Xander flushed. "No."


"Spike, get to the fucking point! You're babbling like Willow."

Spike scowled and leaned forward, propping himself on his fisted hands. He stopped shifting until he was just scant inches from Xander's mouth. "The point, fuckwit, is that we like each other -- maybe more than like, I don't know. The spell may've started us on the right path sooner than we'd have gone had we not been magically influenced, but it wasn't anything that wasn't going to happen anyway. It just got all that flirty, preliminary crap out of the way. We can get to the good stuff sooner rather than later."

Xander bit his lip and Spike watched him do it with a hungry gleam in his eyes. He leaned closer stopping just short of touching their lips together.


"What?" Spike snapped, losing the scrap of patience he had.

"How would this work? We're natural enemies...we annoy each other..."

Spike didn't pull back but he did grow silent for a moment, thinking. "We could...start over. How's that? Could be different between us from now on, yeah?"

"Start over?" Xander asked, frowning.

Spike grinned. "Hello, the name's Spike. It's very nice to make your acquaintance."

Xander grinned back, rolling his eyes; his body relaxed. "That's not gonna work."

"Don't know about that. Got you smiling, didn't it? Cut the tension right in half." Spike pushed forward between the brunet's legs. He ran both hands down Xander's thighs to his knees. Gripping behind them, he pulled the boy forward until he was slumped down on the couch and his ass was on the edge of the cushion. He ground himself against the protruding erection that met his own when he pressed forward, breathing heavily. "See? Could work. Seems like it is already."

"Spike," Xander moaned, spreading his legs and arching up to meet Spike's moving hips. "This can't--"

"Can't what, luv?" Spike rolled his hips and leaned in to gently kiss Xander's lips lightly. "It's nice, isn't it? Feels good? Can feel better..."

Xander's pupils dilated as he stared at Spike. He licked his lips and then, without warning, grabbed the back of Spike's head and pulled their mouths together. He opened his lips and shoved his tongue into Spike's mouth, dying for another taste of the blond.

Spike groaned and moved his hips harder in response. He thrust faster, harder, crushing their bodies together. The feeling of denim and cotton and hard shafts between layers of fabric made what they were doing even hotter than it was.

Xander pulled back, breathing heavily, and he pushed at Spike's shoulders. "Get up."

"What? No." Spike tried to kiss him again and scowled when he realised he wasn't going to succeed unless he hurt the both of them. He moved back and watched as Xander lay down and slowly smiled. "Oh. Getting more comfortable, are we?"

Xander's lips turned up slightly. "Take off your coat, Spike, and get up here."

Spike swallowed hard and hurriedly did as the boy asked. He removed his boots and then launched himself onto the couch, landing squarely between opened, muscular thighs. He shifted repeatedly, finding the perfect place and rotated his hips with a groan.

"Oh, yeah, pet, that's much better."

"Uh huh." Xander shoved a hand through Spike's hair and jerked him roughly by that handful. "Shut up and kiss me."

Spike was only too happy to oblige.


When they were both desperate for release, Spike eased their cocks out of their jeans and thrust hard and fast, stroking them both in time with his body's movements. He panted and moaned into Xander's mouth, enjoying the heat of the flesh against his own.

Xander wrapped his calves around Spike's thighs and kissed him harder as he moved against the man on top of him.

"Oh, God, Spike. Ne-need to...take pants off."

Spike made a frustrated sound in the back of his throat and shot up from Xander's body and couch. He ripped off all of his clothing and set to ridding Xander of his own. When Xander stared wide-eyed at him, he shrugged.

"Might as well get completely nude, pet. I've only got the one set of clothes anyway and don't want to get spunk all over."

"Oh. Good idea. Get back here."

Spike's grin was predatory and he moved back into his previous position, gasping as hot, slippery skin met his. "Good idea, luv. Bloody good idea, this."

He began thrusting again, enjoying the feel of Xander's naked flesh against his own. Their chests and bellies rubbed, their cocks slid wetly together and Xander wrapped his legs around Spike's body again, increasing the pressure and friction between them.

Xander panted, ran his hands up and down Spike's back, grabbed his ass and squeezed both buttocks hard as he gyrated his hips into each of the vampire's thrusts. He threw back his head, releasing Spike's mouth, and the blond took the opportunity to attack his neck with frantic sucking that matched his body's movements.

Xander clung to Spike as he started to head toward climax. He could feel the hard shaft alongside his own, sometimes grazing and sliding against his ball sac, dragging and moving against his cock, and he gasped as the tingling burn that built inside him grew until he finally orgasmed.

The hot wetness that splashed across his skin and the look on Xander's face when he came was all Spike needed to cum. He jerked their cocks faster, prolonging Xander's orgasm and starting his own.

And once it was over, he collapsed on the boy, breathing hard, sliding in their combined emissions.

Xander's hands were still clenched on his ass. It felt nice.

He kissed the sweaty skin of Xander's neck, licking the salt he discovered.

Xander shuddered in response, barely able to make the movement. He enjoyed the weight of Spike on top of him and didn't want to move, but he knew they would have to eventually.

They'd stick together if they didn't.

"Well, for no actual penetration that was hot."

Spike snorted into Xander's neck, biceps bulging as he pushed his upper body up to look Xander in the eye. "Don't have to have your cock in someone for it to be damned good sex, boy. You've a lot to learn."

Xander swallowed hard. He could feel Spike's cock starting to respond again between them and it was riling up his own. "Yeah?"

Spike gave him a lingering kiss. "Oh, yeah."

"Can we start in the shower?"

The vampire's smile was wicked as he pushed himself from Xander's body and held a hand out to help him up from the couch. "What do you think?"

Xander was tugged up and into Spike's arms, their bodies pressing together. He inhaled deeply, smelled the sweat and sex in the air and the scent of Spike that was cigarettes and Xander’s own bodywash. He hugged the blond to him, hard, pressing his face into the vampire's neck because he couldn't seem to get as close as he wanted.

"I think I feel dirty." He pushed away from Spike, taking hold of one of the blond's hands. He pulled Spike after him as he headed toward the bathroom.

Spike watched Xander's ass, following him to the bathroom. He licked his lips. "I think you're about to get a whole lot dirtier, pet."

Here Endeth the Story

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