Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Summary: Cole Porter ficathon entry; Xander and Spike dance.
Warnings: None.
Timeline: from s4 to late s6

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything but some of the plot.
Notes: This story was hard to write, sort of, but I’m decently happy with how it came out. The song I was assigned was called “So in Love” by Fabian, Lara & Mario Frangoulis. It’s a good song, it reminds me of 1940’s mexico. The hotel name I made up, it mean’s ‘Ancient Beauty.’ This was written for [info]twilightsfic who requested at least R rated Spander.

Learning to Dance


The air was warm and the breeze smelled like the sea. The ocean, a distant roar couldn’t mask the cheers of delight and chatter of the party below. Xander leaned against the balcony rail and took in the night before him. The sun had set, leaving behind a faint purple glow on the horizon, making it just dark enough for the stars to twinkle overhead. The cool sea air blew across the beach lazily, as if it had no place to be. This place instilled that feeling in you. The relaxed nature of the tide, sun, surf, and sand.

Strange, dear, but true, dear,
When I'm Close to you dear,
The stars fill the sky,
So in love with you am I.

From the third floor of the Belleza Antigua hotel Xander watched through the large glass windows of the first floor ballroom as the wedding party made its way through the crowd. The extravagant Mexican wedding was not uncommon to the hotel. Out of the 10 days Xander had been at the hotel, this would be the sixth evening with music on the breeze.

As the music started below, Xander felt arms surround his waist.

Even Without you
My arms fold about you.
You know, darling, why,
So in love with you am I.

“That the third or fourth one this week?”

Xander smiled and turned around to face his lover. “The fourth. Don’t make fun, I think it’s romantic.”

Spike snorted, “Hundred thousand dollar weddings aren’t romantic, just garish.”

Xander rolled his eyes, “What would you think was romantic? You’re about as romantic as an old shoe.”

“I’m romantic enough for you,” Spike smiled and stood back, “But I suppose I could give away one ‘o my party tricks.” He bowed at the waist, extending his hand in an old fashioned invitation for a dance.

Xander laughed, “You’re kidding right?”

“Why certainly not. Every young gentleman should know a proper waltz.” Spike held his hand out a bit further for emphasis.

Xander laughed up at the stars before taking Spike’s hand. Spike swept him away and they made their way around the long stone balcony. The moonlight danced off of them, bouncing around, causing Spike to practically glow in amusement. Xander smiled and thought back through the past, remembering how they had come to this.

In love with the night mysterious
The night when you first were there
In love with my joy delirious
When I knew that you could care.

When they first got together, it had been purely for the sex. A dark closet, a quiet corner, hidden away places that no one looked too hard at, all became like a second home, a place they could go to and let go.

“Yeah. Oh! Yes!” Xander moaned low as Spike drove into him, causing his body to react in ways he wasn’t accustomed to. “God. Right, ahh, Right there! Yes!”

Spike’s hands gripped Xander’s hips, almost bruising him in his desperate need to go deeper. Xander was curled up beneath him, hands griping the arm of the couch and Spike’s bicep respectfully.

The pull-out bed rocked and squeaked in protest beneath them but neither cared. The only thing that mattered was making that incredible feeling increase.

Xander could feel himself, hovering on the edge. He was writhing and clawing and aching and he just needed to feel that moment. With two final thrusts, Spike jack-hammered into him, causing him to scream.

He was aching and groaning and exploding and wanting and screaming and feeling all at once. Spike pounded into him a few more times before collapsing on top of him.

“Oh god,” Xander panted. He brought a hand up to the back of Spike’s neck as he caught his breath. “Damn.” He took a gulp of air before continuing, “That was so much better than Faith, and still more romantic.”

It wasn’t just sex after a while, soon Xander found himself inviting Spike over for a movie or soccer game or some other ‘guy’ thing. They ended up watching the movie or game for a while, but most times they were lucky to get half way through before they started to make out.

All the missed make-out opportunities in high school he found himself making up for. Sometimes they would just lie on the couch and kiss. Eyes closed, hands lazily groping and hair almost always mussed.

Not everything was sex, soccer, and make-out sessions though. Sometimes they talked. They talked about everything, from books to demons even to food. Xander thought the mozzarella sticks at the Bronze were the best, while Spike held his ground with the blooming onion.

After a while Spike never left the basement, and Xander found himself buying blood on a regular basis. A few months went by and a routine accident on patrol sent Spike “‘round the bend.” Xander wound up with a broken arm and Buffy wound up with a dead demon and a severe threatening from Spike.

Spike’s concern opened the Scoobies eyes and soon Xander was the center of an intervention.

‘The first step to admitting his problem was admitting that Spike was “messing with him”.

Xander stormed out, went home, and promptly fucked Spike through the mattress. A week later when he returned to Scooby meetings no one said a word.

They made it through Adam and everything was going fine. Until Anya showed up.

Anya’d left after her first and only sexcapade with Xander, explaining that it wasn’t him it was her.

When she returned though, all hell broke loose. Xander found himself trapped between a devoted vampire who he shouldn’t be with, and an ex-vengeance demon who he didn’t want to be with. When all was said and done, he left his parent’s basement and Spike behind.

With his new life came differences and changes. He was heterosexually in love with Anya and no one would tell him different. Yes siree, he was straight as they come.

Spike became cynical, he taunted Anya and was angry at Xander. He pretended he wasn’t hurt, but most of the scoobies knew otherwise.

So taunt me and hurt me,
Deceive me, desert me,
I'm yours 'til I die,
So in love,
So in love
So in love with you, my love, am I.

Two year, Buffy’s death, and a wedding-not-followed-through-on later Xander found himself at Spike’s crypt angry and sad and pissed off in a stained, wet tuxedo. He knocked and when Spike opened the door, he was gawked at. Finally Spike let him in and moved back, over toward his old chair.

“What do you want?” He sat down, not looking at Xander.

“I didn’t do it.” Xander stood awkwardly by the door, dripping on the dirty cement.

“Yeah, well, could'a told you it wouldn’t work out.” Spike sprawled out, arm coming to rest across his chest, “Ya like being fucked too much.”

Xander blushed as Spike continued, “So tell me mate, why didn’t ya do it?” He yawned lazily and scratched his chest.

There was a slight pause before Xander answered, “I’m still in love with you.”

There was silence throughout the crypt and Spike stared at the dark TV. Xander stood, staring at Spike, waiting for him to say something. They had never said the words before. They’d been together 10 months and neither one had ever said anything.

Finally Spike snorted, “Yeah, that’s a good one. Now what’s the real reason?” He stood up suddenly and wandered over to the sarcophagus in the back of his crypt.

“It’s true.” Xander ran a hand through his damp hair and began to pace. “I… Fuck. I just, I was standing there, in front of everyone. He asked me the question and I just couldn’t. I kept thinking, ‘is this what my life is going to be?’ a fantasy stereotype of Anya’s perfect world? I’m not…,” He sighed, “I can’t be that person. I stood up there and realized I couldn’t do that. It’s not who I am. I don’t wanna be Mr. Joe Normal. I don’t want the wife and kids. I want to be happy. I want to love you. I do. I love you,” Xander’s throat caught slightly before he continued, “I’m in love with you and I can’t stop thinking about everything that happened and everything we had and how much of a mistake I made.”

Spike was silent for a long time. He turned to face Xander fully. “You were right. It was a mistake. I’ll never get those months back.” He paused, then shrugged, “Oh, well, what’s a few months if you get to live forever.” He started to head down the ladder at the entrance to his lair.

“Spike wait!” Xander took an urgent step forward. “Look. I can’t say I’m sorry. I am sorry, but you don’t need to hear that. I hurt you, and much as I know you won’t admit it, I did. And I’m sorry! I made the hugest mistake of my life by walking away. There hasn’t been one day I haven’t thought about you. Not one day since I proposed with that damn ring that I wondered if I was making a mistake.

“I made a mistake! People do that and I’ll understand if you never speak to me or think about me again. But I had to come and tell you everything. I can’t leave without knowing.” Xander stared down at his hands. “I’m leaving, going away for a while, Anya and I had tickets to some little place in Mexico. I’m gonna go there for a while, and well, I wanted to know if you would come with me. I know it’s a long shot asking you, but if you think there’s even the tiniest chance I can fix things and make it better, just come with me. You don’t have to do anything or say anything, just come with me and we can talk. I’ve never been very spontaneous, but this is right and I need to get away, but I love you, Spike and will you? Come with me?”

A long moment later Spike looked up at him. He cleared his throat, “Go away Xander, be spontaneous and just go.” With that he finished heading down the ladder.

Xander stood there for a few minutes before realizing it was over. His heart was torn out and it was because he’d done something stupid, like usual. He’d poured out his soul to Spike and now he was just alone. He sucked in a jagged breath and walked away.

He made it to the crypt door before he felt the sting behind his eyes. He would not cry. It was his fault and he would deal with it.

He stomped across the cemetery and started to make his way toward the nearest street corner when a strong hand pulled him around and two lips met him in a desperate kiss.

When they broke apart Xander blinked in surprise down at Spike. Spike made a small cautious smile, “I’ve wanted to do that for two years.”

Xander smiled brightly and pushed himself to Spike, leaning in for another long-needed kiss. After a few moments Spike pulled back, “I’m still fucking mad at you.”

“I know, just let me exp-“ Spike cut him off with another kiss.

When they broke away Spike pressed a hand to Xander’s mouth. “Just tell me when we leave.”

In love with the night mysterious
The night when you first were there
In love with my joy delirious
When I knew that you could care.

It hadn’t been easy. They talked for nearly two days straight, worked out all the crap they needed to work through, and then talked some more.

Now they stood, back on an even footing. Spike was angry and hurt but he’d never stopped loving. They’d seen each other every other day since they’d broken up and you can’t stop loving someone you couldn’t escape from. They’d drudged up all the pain and worked through it all.

A week later and Xander felt like things had never changed. You can’t stop things that were meant to be and he’d learned that the hard way. He’d made mistakes, that was for sure, but as Spike twirled him around their private balcony, he knew that he would never make the same one again.

So taunt me and hurt me,
Deceive me, desert me,
I'm yours 'til I die,
So in love,
So in love
So in love
So in love with you, my love, am I.

Near the ocean in Mexico, in a five star hotel, a bride and groom danced the first dance of their new lives.

Two floors up, and a little ways over, a vampire and his lover twirled around a balcony beneath the stars, dancing the first dance of the rest of their lives.

The End

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