What a Wicked Thing to Do


Xander wondered, not for the first time, if he was completely insane. Since he was stacking bags of blood in his fridge at the time, it wasn't an unreasonable thought.

"Okay," Xander went over his checklist, "blood, beer, Wheetabix."

He didn't like this. Not one little bit. But when had he been able to refuse Buffy anything? All it took was a phone call,and Xander was twisted around Buffy's little finger.

"She didn't even ask nicely," Xander fumed aloud. True, the request, really the order, had been blunt. Xander, Spike is staying with you. No chance for argument. Buffy wanted Spike kept safe from Glory. She needed him to protect Dawn.

"Yeah," Xander muttered. "Like he'd even last more than ten minutes up against her." Xander felt a little ill. "But maybe that's the point. Distract Glory by letting her kill Spike." Disturbed by the thought, Xander cracked open a beer.

A staccato knock sounded. Xander set down his drink and crossed the room. He leaned against the door before opening it, readying himself. The last time he'd seen Spike the vampire had been so badly beaten that it hurt to look at him, so it was a bit of a surprise to open the door to see the same old Spike. Bruises faded, cuts healed entirely, the mouth twisted in a mocking smirk. Xander felt his sympathy drain away. "I guess you have to come in."

"Gotta do better than that, mate."

Xander narrowed his eyes and mumbled, "Fine. I invite you in."

"Invite who in?"

"Spike, get the hell in here."

Spike grinned wolfishly and walked into Xander's apartment.

"I know that Buffy wants to keep you safe from Glory. For some twisted reason." This last part Xander muttered under his breath.

"Maybe she just can't resist the Big Bad." A reminiscent smile played across Spike's mouth. Xander shuddered.

"You can sleep on the couch."

"Right. Nice place you got here. Big windows. Lots of light. Is that a southern exposure? You enjoy vacuuming?"

Xander looked at the windows, then back at the vampire. Spike mimed poofing into dust. Temper fraying, Xander snapped, "Fine. I guess you'll have to go in the bedroom. We can cover the window. I'll get my tools."

"You do that, Carpenter."

"My place," Xander muttered. "My own grown-up place and I have to give my bed up to a soulless vampire."

"Hey! You've got Guinness in the icebox?" Horror tinged Spike's voice. "In the icebox? What is wrong with you bloody Yanks?"

"It's just one night." Xander thought. "One night, and then Glory will probably kill us all." Strangely comforted, Xander began to hammer plywood over his bedroom window.


Xander focused on the recalcitrant nail. "Damn it, stay still!" He tapped the hammer. On the fifth strike the head lay flush with the wood. "Woohoo! Victory!" Xander danced in triumph.

A choking sound caused him to look toward the bed. Spike was busy mopping beer off of his chest. "Oi, mate. That's a waste of lager, that is."

"My own grown-up place," Xander thought darkly, "And he laughs at me." "You could help, you know. This is for your benefit."

"Not my department, Xand." Spike grinned. "I'll leave things in your big strong hands."

Xander looked over at Spike suspiciously. Was he flirting? "How much have you had to drink?" Xander counted empties. Four beers? Five? No way that was enough to make the vampire drunk. It was just enough for him to be relaxed, for him to lounge, cat-like, across the bed, for his ice blue eyes to twinkle mischievously, for his mouth to….

"Whoa. How much have I had to drink?" Xander picked up a bottle as he crossed over to the bed. If he was going to be thinking about Spike's mouth, he needed more beer.

"Ninety-nine pints of Guinness on the wall. Ninety-nine pints of Guin-ooof." Spike's song was cut off as Xander kicked him off the bed.

"No singing!"

"Fine. Let's talk about chicks. Y'know, I do and do and do for that girl, and she still rejects me. What does it take?"

"Spike, you built a sexbot."

"No. It was more than that. I just wanted a little Buffy in my life. A little response. A little warmth. Is that too much to ask?"

"Yes. Yes, it is. She never responded to me. I didn't build a robot." Xander sounded wistful.

"But the technology is there. Maybe we could recharge 'er batteries? Have a little fun?"

"Wow...I mean 'NO'. That way lies madness."

Spike pulled himself up in front of Xander. "I remember, just before you barged into my crypt." He leered up at Xander. "She was kneeling in front of me. Her hands, her lips. All over me, mate. I never had such good he…." Spike broke his recital off when Xander began to giggle. "Wha'?"

"I saw you two," Xander laughed. "I saw you in the cemetery. 'Big bad'," he mimicked. "'BIIIIGGGG Bad'. Buffy would never say that. Who would say that?"

Spike jumped to his feet. Ripping open his fly, he snarled, "What would you call it?"

Eyes wide, Xander stammered, "Big. Bad." Eyes fixed on Spike, he stood up and began to back away. "Biggest bad I've ever....No, bad. BAD. Big...Oh god."

Spike began stalking toward the young man. "Why you backin' away, Xander?" Spike cooed. "I can't hurt you. I can't hurt you even a little. Even if you begged me to hurt you, I couldn't." Spike pressed Xander against the wall. "Even if you were on your knees in front of me, pleadin' with me to hurt you." He shook his head mournfully, vampire features overtaking his face. "No pain for Xander."

Xander stared at Spike's fangs. Fascinated, he reached out a hand and traced Spike's mouth. "I'm drunk," he stated with clear finality. "I won't remember this in the morning. Like the hyena."

Spike opened his mouth to ask about the hyena, and Xander slipped his thumb past his lips. Trailing the digit along Spike's teeth, he teased a fang with the sensitive tip. He applied the least bit of pressure. Skin pierced, blood began to drip. Spike and Xander let out simultaneous gasps. Pleasure, mixed with the tiniest bit of pain.

Spike tasted the coppery tang of blood. Moaning, he began to suck. Xander leaned his head against the wall. "Oh, yeah," he thought, "Just like the hyena." Half-remembered dreams flooded Xander's mind. Dimly heard, the scratch of metal on metal, the moans. "Is Spike moaning? Or is it me? Doesn't matter...nothing matters."

Xander's fingers tangled in Spike's hair, pulling tight, leaving a bloody smear across his temple.

"I remember this...running, hot, panting through the woods...oooh, cold and wet...hot and wet in the dream...running, seeking, hunting....waking up...am I dreaming? Doesn't matter...waking up, hard and aching, smelling my lust, my need....nuzzling up to Anya, smelling, licking, sucking, biting...little nips until she wakes up...aching and hot....driving into her, again and again, until my growls are drowned out by her keening.... Am I awake? Is this a dream?"

"Am I awake?" Panting, breathless. "Harder. Sucking, licking, biting.."

Moans, gasps, the shuddering cry of release.

Suddenly Xander found himself on the bed, on his back, Spike hovering over him. "Is this a dream?" Unsure, reaching to touch the pale face above.

"Do you want it to be? Do you dream of this?" Spike rasped. "Is this what you want? What you long for?"

Xander ran his hands over Spike's cool back, clawing, drawing blood. "Want. Want it." Spike's laugh mingled with Xander's moan of pain, his gasp of pleasure.

Rocking, driving, Spike held Xander's shoulders down. Xander tried to rear up, tried to reach with his hands, his lips, his tongue. Tried to touch, tried to taste. Spike growled and pressed harder.

He pushed Spike's arms away. Off balance, the vampire tumbled down, driving deeper into Xander. Xander laughed and moaned. Crying in pain, in triumph, he wrapped his arms around Spike. Seeking, questing with his mouth. Sucking harder and harder as Spike's movements became more and more frantic. Biting now, biting until the skin broke, biting until blood filled his mouth, biting until Spike screamed and shook.

The air hung heavy and hot, the sound of panting breath, the smell of lust. Their bodies slid apart, slick with sweat and blood and cum. Spike leaned toward Xander, whispering in his ear.

"You can be too drunk to remember. I'll let you have that, but you are going to have this in your dreams. That I demand."

Xander didn't bother to answer. He just smiled as he drifted off to sleep.

The End

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