Today is my 6th LJversary! On this day in 2003, darkhavens came into this world on wobbly legs with a shifty look in her eyes. And in almost no time at all, there was porn. :D
Five Things Series
Five Things Xander Harris Gave Up After Getting Involved With Spike
1. His sanity. No, really. He's spent a lot of years telling Buffy she must have been crazy to get involved with Angel, and if there's one thing that Alexander LaVelle Harris isn't, it's a hypocrite.
But if sanity means not having Spike in his life and his bed, then sanity is most definitely over-rated. Just call him Xander the Crazy and let him get on with it.
He thinks he might begin to worry if his limited edition commemorative action figures start talking to him like the terrifying Miss Edith did to Dru, but unless – until? – that happens, he figures he's doing okay.
2. Control of the remote – any remote, including the ones for the TV, the DVR, the DVD player, the stereo… and the multi-function, twisting, thrusting vibrator that Spike brought home last month as a surprise.
It probably would have been less of a surprise if Spike had waited until Xander was awake before applying it, but, everything considered, it was a pleasant surprise.
3. Saturday morning cartoons. This was a close call, he’ll admit, maybe, if you ask him when Spike is a couple of miles outside of hearing distance, but he doesn't regret it.
He'd much rather spend the early hours of Saturday mornings being used as a human blanket by the vampire in his bed. He's not sure how Spike does it, but no matter how they're lying when they go to sleep, whether spooned or tangled up together somehow, Xander always seems to wake with Spike tucked almost completely underneath him, his face buried either in Xander's chest or the pillow, his hands and feet jammed into the pockets of warmth at Xander's armpits and between his knees.
Anyway, he can usually manage to get his hands on the DVR remote while Spike is either showering or touching up his roots (or his nails), so he can set it to record his favorite shows to watch while Spike is out winning baskets of kittens or Mastering the Hellmouth.
4. Garlic. Not because it's lethal to vampires; it's really not. But Spike claims he has sensitive taste buds, and apparently certain flavours can affect a person's taste more than others, like pineapple, cinnamon and mint.
Xander doesn't miss cauliflower at all, but he did love garlic bread with pizza.
He loves blowjobs more, though.
5. Growing Old. Oh, Spike hasn't said anything too obvious yet, but Xander knows it's just a matter of time. There was a grey hair in his pubes last week, not that he would have noticed if Spike hadn't yanked it out and waved it under his nose while looking angry and terrified by turns.
He's okay with the idea, really. He's been weighing up the pros and cons for quite a while now, and he knows that not losing Spike – not forcing Spike to lose him, one grey hair at a time – outweighs every other concern he could think of.
He's okay with losing everything else, so long as he gets to keep Spike.
Five Things Spike Gave Up After Getting Involved With Xander Harris
1. Smoking in bed. It's one thing for him to inhale lungfuls of tar and nicotine and assorted carcinogens after a good shag, but the first time Xander reached over and took the cigarette from between his lips, inhaled, hacked and then handed it back, that was it.
The daft git is squishy enough as it is – so easily broken and slow to heal. There's no way Spike is helping him find new ways to shorten his lifespan. So, no more post-orgasm fags. Seems, any other time, Xander has more sense than to play with coffin nails, but when he's just had his brain fucked loose, he's much too impressionable and easily led.
A devious vampire could talk him into all manner of things…
2. Knocking back bottles of whisky like it was pop. Not that it's a regular occurrence, mind, or that a bottle – or two – would do all that much to someone with a vampiric constitution, but Xander gets this bruised look in his eyes when he thinks nobody's watching, and knowing he's responsible for dredging up what's obviously painful history for his boy makes Spike burn inside.
No one has the right to hurt what's his, no one. And bugger anyone who says his protectiveness can't be retroactive.
3. Collecting trophies. A bloody awful, not to mention downright stupid, idea anyway, really, but he picked it up from Dru. His dark princess, with her dollies and toys and hanks of hair all neatly braided and tied up with ribbons from whatever pretty little thing she'd most recently had for lunch.
The eyes were the worst. That bizarre collection didn't last long, thank god, but while it did…
How's a bloke supposed to be at the peak of his form with his girl while there's a cut glass bowl full of eyes floating in gin staring up at him from the bedside table? Some things are beyond creepy.
So. No trophies.
Except for the weapons that catch his eye, of course – who doesn't need an arsenal on the Hellmouth?
And taking trinkets and gadgets and stuff to sell is something else entirely. He's not going cap in hand to his boy or the Watcher any more, demeaning himself for pennies to buy fags and booze and blooming onions. He's better than that, smarter than that. He no longer needs the protective coloration of looking weak and helpless, dependent.
4. His one demon, on again, off again crusade to torment the great Poof out of his decades-long broody blue funk.
Now it's a one demon, one human on again, off again crusade, and the human element is showing a decidedly Machiavellian side to his persona that Spike has not previously encountered.
He likes it. It shows his boy has real promise.
5. His favored status as the youngest of the fading, once grand Aurelius line. Oh, there was that submariner get of Angelus's, back in World War Two, but he doesn't really count, being more of an expedience than an actual member of the family.
And he'll be damned before he counts any of Dru's creations either, short-lived maddening and maddened mongrels that they were.
No, when he passes on the distinction of being the youngest, favored heir to the house of Aurelius, it will be to his Xander, his wicked, wide-eyed wondrous boy.
And it will be soon.
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