Fandom: Star Trek XI
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: Mature
Warnings: The results of boredom, sloppy smiles, skepticism.
Summary: Set pre-movie (so minimal movie spoilers). Bones is laughing at him. He knows it. Maybe not out loud, but in his head. Jim doesn’t have to take this.
Disclaimer: So not mine. I sadly own nothing.
Note: Thanks to [info]savoytruffle for the awesome beta and encouragement!

The Best (Laid) Plans


Part One

Making it through the Academy is no easy feat. And making it through in three years? You have to be crazy.

Good thing Jim is.

Crazy with no home to go back to during breaks helps. (Or no home he wants to go back to.) Because then Jim’s so bored he’ll actually study and get fucking extra credits.

See what boredom does to a guy?

He says this to Bones, who demonstrates his lack of sympathy with a snort.

Jim throws back his drink, slams the empty glass down and then sighs as mournfully as possible.

“Damn it Jim, I’m a doctor not your sugar daddy. You want more, you pay.” Bones sips his drink as if he’s never going to need more.

Fine, see if he buys Bones another drink.

He does.

Stupid drunk brain.

Bones is laughing at him. He knows it. Maybe not out loud, but in his head. Jim doesn’t have to take this.

He stands up.

And wishes he hadn’t. The world’s all weird and tilting and he’s starting to –

“Sit down before you pass out.” Bones shoves him back in his chair. “I’m not carrying you home… again.” And for good measure, and because he’s Bones, he adds, “Idiot.”

Jim smiles at Bones. He suspects it’s a sloppy smile but he doesn’t care, it’s all about flashing the pearly whites and working his magic.

Which never works on Bones so it’s no surprise that tonight is no exception. Even though the bar is basically deserted and no one would see a crack in Bones’ cynical persona.

They drink for a few more minutes and Jim tries to count how many Academy breaks he and Bones have had together. He gets lost around six and decides the answer is every single one of them.

It’s not a break without Bones, no matter how cranky or bitter or just plain crusty he is.

The bitter has at least waned in the past year. The divorce seems to have lost its sting and Bones has become less of a functional alcoholic and more of a functional person. But he will still kick back and drink, which Jim appreciates - he needs a wingman.

Plus, it’s not half bad having Bones as company.

Even company who’s currently bitching about the godawful music and godawful food in this godawful place.

“Come on, Bones.” He experiments with tipping back in his chair – too tippy – so he rests his elbows on the table instead. “Soak it in, a few more months and you’ll be missing the hell out of this place.”

“Damn it, Jim.” Bones scowls, clearly imagining exactly what awaits him.

Jim doesn’t get why Bones always accuses him of not looking before he leaps. Bones hates space and ships and signed up for Starfleet anyway.

Sometimes he just doesn’t get the guy.

Which is weird, because he’s probably the only one who does get Bones and doesn’t think he’s some bitter alcoholic who happens to be a brilliant doctor so can get away with it. He should really bug Bones about this – considering Bones always complains that Jim could charm his way out of a black hole.

“You know, Bones,” he starts, looking him in the eye. Huh, Bones looks kinda, well the only word for it is sad. But then the look is gone and he looks like his usual grumpy self. But Jim has already changed tracks and he’s sticking with his new train even though he knows next to nothing about train travel, “What we need is to go back to my place and have some real fun.”

“Doing what exactly?” Bones’ skepticism is blatant.

“Can’t say.” Jim can’t say because he’s just letting the words tumble out of his mouth. At least he’s good with skepticism, especially Bones’. “You don’t want me to ruin the surprise, do you?”

He stands up and doesn’t sway. “Come on.” Jim leans over and pulls a – mostly non-resistant – Bones from his seat.

Jim keeps an arm slung over Bones’ shoulder on the way back to keep them from staggering all over the place and to keep Bones with the plan.

Sure there is no plan, but that’s okay with Jim.

He doesn’t need plans, he’s good on his feet.

Except when he’s drunk and there’s a comfy surface nearby. He tumbles off his feet and onto his bed pulling Bones with him.

Part Two

Jim’s shirt lands on the floor with a soft thud and he turns back to face Bones who’s across from him on the bed. Playing cards are scattered in between them.

“See, told you I wouldn’t back out.” Jim stretches and leans back, propping a pillow behind him. “I’m always up for strip poker.”

“I see.” A hint of a smile crosses Bones’ face. “This could be interesting after all.”

“Course it will be.” He gives Bones his best ‘how could you doubt me’ look. “It’s me!”

He catches conceited and bastard amongst Bones’ mutterings.

Jim loses the next hand too and he kicks off his boots. He’s starting to suspect that Bones is a lot better at this than him.

It turns out he’s right.

Jim may be the risktaker in life but Bones is all about taking the high stakes risks in poker – and damned if it doesn’t pay off every time.

Jim tosses down another losing hand, stands up and moves his hands to his waist.

There’s a hint of red at the base of Bones neck. He rubs at it and raises an eyebrow at Jim as if to ask whether this is really happening.

He gives a little shimmy of his hips – he doesn’t have the skill of the Brass Rail dancers but if Bones shifting positions is any indication, he may have a future as a stripper yet.

Jim runs his finger around the waistband, then leans over and pulls off a sock. He flops back on the bed with a smile.

Bones keeps his head down and shuffles the cards.

If that’s the way he wants to play it, Jim will go with it. For now.

He can’t resist, however, leaning over Bones to pour himself another drink.

He also can’t resist breathing into Bones’ ear, “Want some?”

There’s a hand on his chest and he’s shoved back. “Sit down, shut up and stop sneaking a peek at my cards,” Bones growls.

Jim raises an eyebrow but decides not to push any further for now. Just takes a long slow drink and feels the burn of Bones’ good whiskey down his throat.

He loses the next hand too.

Off comes the other sock.

“You know,” he says, pointing at Bones. “I’m starting to think you cheat.”

“And I’m starting to think you’re just an exhibitionist.”

Starting to?” He looks at Bones askance. “It’s me.”

“Yeah.” Bones shakes his head. “Clearly the whiskey’s made me insane.”

Jim either gets lucky or has managed to distract Bones enough because he actually wins the next hand.

Bones slips off his top revealing a tight black undershirt that hugs his abs.

It also reveals that Bones isn’t dressed appropriately for strip poker. The less clothes, the better. Or that’s Jim’s motto anyway.

He blames Bones’ abs on losing the next hand.

They are very distracting. As is his broad chest.

Jim gets his revenge by a slow, hip shimmying removal of his pants.

Bones finishes his drink in one large gulp.

He sits down satisfied that he’s down to his last item of clothing. The game is going well.

They play the hand slowly, each deliberating carefully. Jim wishes he could read Bones but he has the pokerest of faces right now. When it’s finally time to show their hands, Jim takes a steadying drink and just focuses on the burn before checking out Bones’ hand.

He stares. Huh, hadn’t expected that.

“C’mon Jim, quit your stalling. Haven’t got all night.”

Jim can’t stop the smile that’s spreading across his face. “You win.” He tosses his cards down and moves closer so that he’s straddling Bones. He reaches over and pours some whiskey into Bones’ glass, takes a sip then holds it up to Bones’ mouth, “I think you need this.”

Bones swallows, then gives an almost unperceivable nod. He tips the liquor down Bones throat and watches him drink the contents. He places the glass back on the table.

Bones is staring at the cards on the bed and frowning. “Hey, those are Aces, you have high –”

“Shut up, Bones,” Jim says against his mouth before brushes his lips against Bones, “and help me get this underwear off.”

Bones doesn’t help with the underwear but since his hands are cupping Jim’s ass and he’s actively participating in the kissing, Jim doesn’t complain.

He bites Bones’ lower lip and is rewarded with a low moan that goes straight to his dick.

He gasps when Bones grips his ass harder and flips them over, so Bones is on top straddling Jim. He then bites Jim’s lower lip and proceeds to fuck his mouth.

“So fucking sexy,” he manages when Bones has moved to biting his earlobe.

Hot breath in his ear. “Shut up, Jim.” On the Jim he presses his hard cock against Jim’s.

As long as Bones keeps up that movement and the holy fuck friction then he’s happy to comply.

Jim spreads his legs and arches up to meet Bones’ thrusts.

Everything’s hazy and everything feels so right.

If he’d known it would be like this – hot and intense and so good – he would have done this years ago.

“Why haven’t we…” he breathes in Bones ear and struggles to shove Bones’ pants off. “… done this before?”

“Because you’re an idiot,” Bones says as he assists with the pant removal, “too busy chasing anything that moved.”

Jim shoves the undershirt off and takes in Bones just in his tight fitting black briefs. “You’re right.” He sits up and starts kissing down Bones’ chest. “Idiot. Didn’t know what I was missing.”

He traces his tongue around the belly button and drags it lower and then right over the bulge in Bones’ underwear. He breathes through the fabric onto Bones’ cock.

“Damn right,” Bones says in a strangled voice.

“Let’s see what I’ve been missing.” He hooks his fingers on the waistband and pulls the briefs down in one swift motion.

There’s a lot to see.

But Jim isn’t interesting in looking.

When faced with a hot naked guy, Jim’s a doer, not a looker.

He shoves Bones down and demonstrates how into action he is.

Bones has his fingers buried in Jim’s hair and his hips move with abandon as he works himself deeper into Jim’s mouth.

It’s almost too much, which somehow makes it just right.

He can’t stop himself from moaning and thrusting his dick desperately against the bed when Bones comes in his mouth.

Jim’s wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand when Bones grabs him and hauls him up muttering, “Get up here.”

He, well, devours Jim’s mouth and practically rips Jim’s underwear off. Finally. Bones’ grip on Jim’s cock is firm and fast and perfect.

He feels so helpless and powerful and alive.

It only takes a few more strokes before Jim comes, seeing white.

“Okay,” he gasps after a minute of them catching their breaths. “We’re doing that again.”

Bones cocks an eyebrow.

“You don’t want more of my hotness?” Jim tries to look like he’s actually concerned, but is too sated to do anything but smile sloppily.

“Didn’t say I didn’t want more.” Bones runs a finger back and forth on Jim’s chest. “It’s just that next time I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to sit for a week.”

The low, intense tone goes straight to Jim’s dick.

He’s very up for that. He yawns. Okay, not that up.

“Knew you wouldn’t be able to resist an ass this nice.”

Bones snorts. “You’re not that irresistible, you know.”

“Says the guy who just had his way with me and wants to fuck me.”

“Right, I had my way with you. Humph.” Bones peels some playing cards off his leg and tosses them to the floor. “And I don’t hear you objecting.”

Jim yawns again and throws an arm over Bones, closing his eyes. “You know I can’t say no to you, Bones.”

He’s just drifting off to sleep when he catches, “Good.”

Jim tightens his grip on Bones and smiles.

The End

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