An evening chez Xander goes a little (a lot) differently from the usual

In Denial


He was tired. Spike had been goading him all night. Constant innuendos, unnecessary contact, trying to drive Xander over the edge. He’d had enough. Was slightly drunk, and that last comment, accompanied by a leer… Xander just walked silently out of the sitting room and into his bedroom. Spike followed him, a smirk on his face, which was quickly wiped off it when Xander stripped his clothes off and lay face down on the bed.

“Just fuck me Spike. That’s what you want isn’t it? Get it over and done with.”

That had been pretty much the last thing Spike had expected. Sure, he did really rather want to have sex with Xander, but had never expected it to happen, expected it to be offered. And certainly not like this.

He paused for a moment, not knowing what to do. It was being offered, after all, and he was loath to refuse, evil vamp and all that, but…

His hand hovered above Xander’s warm body. He was half tempted to walk out, but his own desire, his half hard erection that had been both plaguing and keeping him on a pleasant edge all evening demanded otherwise, became more that half hard.

“Don’t want to fuck you, pet. Want to make love to you,” he said quietly. He could sense both Xander’s fear and his arousal. He gently stroked his hand down Xander’s back. He wanted to say he was sorry, but deeply ingrained habit stopped him. Instead, he kissed Xander’s neck. Xander flinched and, although Spike felt a twinge of sympathy for him, Xander’s reaction turned his arousal a notch up. He kissed his way down Xander’s neck, and Xander let out a noise that was somewhere between a moan and a cry. Poor lamb, thought Spike, then mentally slapped himself. He was here to humiliate the boy wasn’t he? But he couldn’t really help admitting that he liked him. More than liked him.

Spike’s hands ghosted down Xander’s back making him moan some more. Then hands were followed by kisses. Soft delicate kisses, interrupted by gentle, rasping licks. Licks that got less gentle when they reached Xander’s arse. Xander gasped as he felt Spike’s tongue push between his cheeks, stroking his entrance. The tongue was replaced by a finger, then more fingers. God the boy was tight. If he’d done this before it couldn’t have been in a while, and Spike suspected that he hadn’t done it before. That made him smile. He had a thing for virgins. Maybe because he’d been one when… well he wasn’t going to go into that. Not that he’d reject Xander once he’d lost his virginity. Assuming Xan would let him again… let? Let? When he could take?

But that was what it would boil down to, he realized.

Xander’s moans made him shiver. This was going to be good, and he was going to make it good for Xander too. Only so that Xan would let him do it again, he reminded himself. He tried to stave back the thought that he was in denial here.

“Relax, pet,” he said softly kissing Xander’s back, sending shudders down both their spines, before he pushed himself inside him.

Gods it felt good.

He wanted to do this over and over again, but right now had to stop. Xander was crying quietly.

“What’s wrong luv? You want me to stop?”

“No,” was the muffled answer.

“Then why…?”

“Don’t know. Don’t stop.”

Spike had an idea why. Not just the pain.

“Xander, I don’t want to hurt you, but I do want you. Have done for ages, and not just sex.”

Another sob.

“D’you want me?”


“What was that?”

“Yes,” Xander shouted angrily.

“Just sex?”


“Well you have me. In every way you want me.”

God that was schmaltzy, but true, and he seriously hoped Xander wasn’t going to hurt him the way Dru had. And Buffy. And Angel.

Harmony didn’t count.

He wasn’t going to hold his breath though. Not that he had one.

More sniffling.

“It’s alright pet. Nothing to feel bad about. And it’s about to be everything to feel good about.”

Xander stopped crying and moaned.

Much better.

Spike shifted his angle which elicited louder moans. Then he sped up the pace. He reckoned the boy was stretched enough to take it.

“Oh,” Xander called out.

“Oh what pet? What do you want?”


Sorry pet, didn’t hear that.”

“More. Harder.”

Spike slowed down. He was really enjoying this now.

“Please, Spike.”

Spike obliged, aligning himself up with Xander and pushing slowly in, pausing when Xander gasped and winced.

Xander hated begging and this was all so freaky. He hadn’t really even known he wanted this until it started. Or at least he hadn’t admitted it to himself. Why else would he expose himself to the evil undead bleached one like that? God it felt good, but it also really really hurt. He sensed that Spike didn’t want to hurt him, but from the sound and feel of things, he was finding it hard to keep control. Why hadn’t his chip gone off? And then oh! Pleasure eclipsed the pain for a moment and Xander’s hard on returned. Spikes hand moving up and down his penis helped, but it was more what Spike was doing to his insides that was doing this, making him… come. He heard Spike let out a groan and assumed that he had too. He hoped so. He didn’t think he could take much more right now.

Spike slumped down onto his back, sounding like he was breathing hard.

Xander tolerated it for a little while. He kind of liked the cool slickness that was draped over him. Slickness meaning sweat, he had to remind himself to avoid an euw moment. Who would have known that vampires sweated. Or perhaps they didn’t. It was him. That seemed the more likely scenario. But eventually it was too much.



“Much heaviness. On my back.”

“Oh, sorry pet.” Spike curse himself again for being soft. But he felt like like…

He pulled himself out of Xander. Oh god Xander was bleeding.

“Xander, I’m really sorry but you’re, you’re bleeding. I didn’t mean to. Got carried away.”

“Doesn’t matter. Lick it clean, Spike.”


That really took Spike aback.

“I thought vampire spit was all healing and all.”

They both knew that Xander was being disingenuous. The injury was too deep for… oh what the hell. Spike did as he was told (no, what he wanted to do – taste the boy. And gods did he taste good. The combination of blood and cum.) When he had done, he pushed Xander over onto his side and kissed him, running his hands through his soft dark hair, then down his back. He really couldn’t help himself. He felt Xander tense a little, but didn’t say anything. Just put his arms around the boy… man, and pulled him close.

He smiled when he felt Xander relax into him.

“Enough for now, pet. Your turn later though.”

The End

Leave Feedback on Livejournal

Feed the Author

Visit the Author's LiveJournal

Home Categories New Stories Non Spander